So you've made it through the first date and are now in a "relationship." Depending on how you handle it, this might be the finest or worst time of your life. I'm approaching this issue with the experience of a five-year (and counting) relationship that has seen many highs and lows. Learn from my successes and failures, and avoid these typical relationship blunders.
1. One of the most common causes for relationships to collapse is the loss of romanticism.
It's all too simple to get complacent and stop putting out the effort for romance. Relationships are, in fact, a lot of labor. Not that you won't have fun along the road, but you should keep in mind that being romantic with your lover requires a concerted effort.
2. Trying to keep our significant other under control.
Many of us have trouble with control or are irritated by what the other person does. In each of these instances, we may feel compelled to regulate or remark on the other person's every action. Consider this: would you want someone to tell you what to do every waking minute? You are not the parent of this individual. If he or she is an adult, treat them as such.
3. Aiming for perfection
Each of us is a human being. We all make errors. Don't hold your significant other to unreasonably high standards. This is particularly difficult for those of us who have overly high expectations of ourselves, but that's another matter.
4. The avoidance of conflict.
Because fighting isn't how most of us want to spend our time, it's all too easy to sweep all of our troubles under the rug. The difficulty with such a strategy is that issues accumulate and increase. This will either result in a heated confrontation or a parting of ways, leaving the other person perplexed as to what went wrong. In every relationship, communication is crucial and should not be overlooked.
5. Arguing about everything.
On the other hand, don't turn every situation into a fight. Consider all of the issues you have with your spouse and if they are deal-breakers or if you can construct a bridge to overcome them.
6. Attempting to persuade the other person to change.
We must recognize our individuality in our interactions. We are often attracted to people who are diametrically opposed to us, and after a time, we may be inclined to attempt to alter them to be like ourselves. Remember why you fell in love with this person in the first place by taking a step back. My lover is often lighthearted and amusing, but his jokes drive me crazy at times, and I wish he was more structured. I have to remind myself that I like his ability to make me laugh and his cheerful attitude in life.
7. Secrets from a loved one.
This is something that goes hand in hand with maintaining open lines of communication—do not hold secrets. You don't have to tell the other person everything about your life, but you shouldn't conceal anything important from them on purpose. When you feel even a smidgeon of remorse for not telling them, you know it's a secret that has to be revealed. It will be released at some point, and sooner is always preferable than later.
8. Not taking care of oneself and being too reliant on others.
If you spend every waking minute with your partner, you will eventually lose sight of who you are as a person. It will be difficult to do things like go to the grocery on your own, and you will find yourself contacting that person for every tiny choice you make. Take some time to do something you like. Have your own interests, hobbies, and friends. As a consequence, you will both gain and have a fuller life.
9. Not taking core value differences seriously.
Even if you have similar musical tastes and like spending time together, big differences will be difficult to overcome. Religion, morality, and the significance of family, friends, jobs, and money are all examples of core values. Take the time to talk about these issues before moving ahead with your relationship, or you could be disappointed later.
10. Don't bring up the subject of money.
Money is usually a difficult topic to discuss. You may have come from a variety of backgrounds. There may be some arguments over how money is spent if one person grew up with everything and the other has always had to pinch pennies. If you're in a committed relationship, even if you have separate finances, be sure to talk about these topics since money concerns will inevitably arise.
11. Failing to recognize and appreciate your mate.
Finally, never forget to say "thank you" or "I love you" to your significant other. You probably noticed all of the nice things he/she did for you at the start of the relationship and appreciated him/her properly. You mentioned you were always in love with each other. Until we think about it, we often forget how amazing the other person is. Tell you’re significant other how you really feel right now!
You have a far higher chance of surviving as a pair now that you've been warned about these typical relationship blunders!
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