Recent research on parenthood suggests that, while having children can be challenging, it may provide some protection against what appears to be a dwindling sense of well-being (scientists use the term "subjective well-being" instead of "happiness" to refer to overall life satisfaction as well as a temporary emotional state).
Parenting naturally includes many of the fundamental principles of positive psychology, the study of how to improve our subjective well-being, including social connection, gratitude, play, a feeling of life purpose, and giving, apart from the restless nights and college tuition expenses.
Parenthood Has 5 Built-In Pleasures
But how can you remember that while you're performing the hard labor of parenting, such as changing diapers, managing tantrums, or dealing with adolescent angst? And if you don't have children, how can you develop those protective parenting factors?
1. Participate
According to years of positive psychology study, having good social and family connections is the most important element in happiness. Researchers believe that the decline in subjective well-being in the United States is due to the weakening of community in contemporary living.
Children, on the other hand, introduce their parents to a world of new social contacts, including instructors, babysitters, other children, and their parents, and long-lost relatives (and strangers on the street!) who can't resist a beautiful baby cheek. When you have a kid, you essentially acquire a ready-made community that you would have to work harder to create otherwise.
Non-parents satisfaction was gradually dropping while parents' happiness stayed constant. He believes the difference is due to a reduction in social connections. It is discovered that although social connection dropped for all [respondents, it fell less for parents than for non-parents. Make an effort to find—and remain involved in—a community, whether or not you have children.
2. Have fun
You may hate being "it," yet children's games, such as tag in the yard and Marco Polo in the pool, are another gift they give to their parents. Play, in addition to being excellent exercise and a vital component of health and happiness, creates space in your life for wonder, creativity, and curiosity. Playing gets you out of your brain and takes your mind off of grownup concerns like bills, job deadlines, and laundry. Play is one of the few activities in which both adults and children may experience "flow," or full and pleasurable immersion.
3. Spread the word
We teach youngsters that sharing is caring. Sharing, on the other hand, is an essential component of adult happiness. It's something that parents do on a daily basis. Sacrificing your morning run to nurse the baby or take a child to the orthodontist is no fun in the short term. Giving to others and doing acts of kindness, on the other hand, have been shown to improve long-term happiness.
Parents have this happiness principle built in. The University of the South and the head of its Happy Parents are less focused on themselves, which has been linked to a higher level of happiness. Find the sweet spot where you're more concerned about your children than yourself, but not so much that you're worrying or obsessing to an excessive degree.
There are four ways that living a life of giving may enhance your life.
4. Consider the big picture
When parents are going through difficult times, such as the terrible twos, people frequently console them by saying things like "it's only a phase" or "it'll pass." Science backs up this common belief. The happiest parents are those with older children, who are more likely to be older themselves. Teenage years are undoubtedly just as tough as diaper days, but they aren't as all-consuming for parents.
Teenagers attend high school, participate in extracurricular activities and schoolwork, and sometimes lock themselves away in their rooms, providing you with the kind of respite that parents of screaming, pre-walking, diaper-wearing children can only dream of. The bottom line is to not sweat the little issues and to keep in mind that things will get better.
5. Look for meaning and purpose in your life
Many grownups are perplexed by "what it all means." What exactly are we doing here? What can we do to help the world? What makes us tick? Having children is a simple solution. We're here to help and adore our kids as they grow up. When we know we are working for their food, education, and adventures, going to work takes on a whole new significance. This feeling of significance and purpose is important for parents since happiness and life satisfaction may suffer if they don't have it.
However, children are not the sole source of profound meaning. Whether it's religion, art, surfing, or making the world a better place in little or large ways, it's important to nurture and remind yourself of your purpose and meaning on a daily basis. And parents, thank your children for all the joy they unknowingly provide to your life, even if they're using your smartphone as a coaster.
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